What's In a Name?

Free interpretation (in other words, where I couldn't find actual information I made stuff up): I just got thinking about what Allen's name suggests and evokes.

Allen - in tune, harmonious (or, in other sources, 'noble'). People called Alan or variants thereon are often very nice, such as my great-grandfather Alan Hardcastle and the English writer Alan Coren, who wrote a charming reply to a fan letter my father sent him as a callow youth. My friend Kevin, a conspiracy theorist from way back and habitually disposed to dislike anyone clean-cut with blond hair and blue eyes, claims it's 'Aryan Schezar.' Well, I'm sure Hitler would like Allen, but equally sure that Allen would not like Hitler.

Crusade - more of a noun than a name. Evokes chivalric piety, heroic pursuit of an ideal, and killing lots of Muslims for having the nerve to live in the Middle East. Cynical historians have noted that the Crusades were an excellent way for practical-minded monarchs to keep people like Allen occupied and out from underfoot so they could get on with running the country their way. Allen's middle name appears to be taken from his ship, unless he named the ship after himself. If the Crusade is a family heirloom, which I believe it is, the first theory seems most likely. Really, what sort of people name a child after a vehicle? Could we take him seriously if his name were Allen Thunderbird Schezar? Perhaps that's a bad example, because it still sounds quite heroic and studly. That's the problem with American car names. Let's turn to Britain. They do this sort of thing so much better. How about Allen Morris Minor Schezar? Allen Reliant Robin Schezar? Allen Mini Schezar? Okay, this is pointless, I'm just being mean *^.^* Allen Humber Super Snipe Schezar. Sorry, that just slipped out. Isn't it a cool car name? Allen Hillman Minx Schezar. Stop it! Excuse me, please - my inner child needs a spanking.

Schezar - a search of Internet surname databases has yielded no trace of this name, but visually it suggests to me it's one of the names that have evolved from 'Caesar' (did you know this is where the title 'czar' comes from, too?), carrying connotations of glory, empire, strategic cunning, and, to readers of the Asterix books, a tendency to be repeatedly humiliated by Gaulish midgets in helmets with wings on.

All right, that's completely irrelevant, but it's still funny to imagine Allen having a fight with Asterix.

VIII - in the shoujo manga version of Tenkuu no Escaflowne, Allen has a number on the end of his name (even though his father isn't an Allen - he isn't even a Leon, because the manga calls him Noland, which I might add was a stock name in Jacobean comedy for a nobleman who had lost his inherited land through mismanagement - in other words a loser). I include it here, even though I'm thinking about the anime version of Allen, because I have a fondness for redundant detail. What does the Roman numeral for eight on the end of a chap's name evoke? To me, Henry VIII, my favourite king of England, big, fair-headed and handsome (when he was young), devoted to puffy sleeves, and a man who went through women like they were disposable paper cups. Well, to be fair, when you're Henry VIII, women are disposable. At least Allen manages to look good by comparison. Of course, when you have to be compared with Henry VIII in order to look good, it may be time to seek out an image consultant.

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